18petals Blog

We all want our children to grow up into a responsible citizen who can exercise his or her autonomy, self drive and self expression while extending a respect to the space of the other person. Are our actions in the adult world too aligned with our desire?

Screens, materialism, consumerism, poor eating habits, tantrums during shopping, body image challenges and CHILDREN can all be spoken in the same breath…here is the reason why…..

Are you noticing that your teenager has stopped confiding in you or is lately spending more time with peers. Read here to understand the psychology of your child much better.

Are you wondering what are the developmental goals of a toddler and preschooler? Are you worried that if your child doesn’t learn the “A,B and C” today, it would affect a lifetime of his or her learning? Learn more here on how to parent a child for better and real early learning.

Raising a child in a social setup can often bring forth fears, pressure of being judged and “would it affect self esteem of the child” kind of questions. How you feel for your child can often decide how the child ends up feeling for himself or herself- Sorry, or Brave and Responsible?

How to build self drive, attention and focus in your child…..is Authoritative parenting the only way?

Helping the child too often and too quickly comes at the price of robbing away the opportunity for the child to do it himself or herself and thereby learning to do problem solving. Learn here to how to resist yourself from committing the rob!

Do children watch videos for the entertainment value of it alone? Is your child ready to grasp the emotional undertone of content? Read more to understand….

Are you feeling shackled with online mode of schooling for your child? Is the helplessness and pressure to be around your child all throughout the online classes increasing your conflict with the child? This authentic letter sent by a parent could help strike a balance between “having your child educated” and “online schooling mode”.

It may not always be possible to keep the child occupied with real people and things around. Cartoons can welcome the child into a world of music, dance, colours and curious story plots. Here are notes on how to keep it developmentally appropriate.

You are a parent of a preschooler. And are tearing your hair out figuring out “How to make my little one attend online school”. Well, the tips in this article could be the starter…

We often wonder why two children from the same household grow up to be completely different human beings…one aspect of the answer could often lie in a little introspection….

The temporary phase of lock-down doesn’t stop the critical period of development for a child be it first five years of life, followed by first ten years of life and then the adolescence. The feeling of entitlement for “screen based entertainment” could be doing more harm than benefit for children.

Is it that a fur on an animal looks cute and fluffy, and revolting in a human being? Imagine a polar bear being “Uncomfortable with body hair”!

Of course adding a child to your family is a personal decision. However given that the reasons can have a direct effect on the overall cognitive skills and personality development of the child, it is a good idea to have the right reasons before going for welcoming the new life.

Are you finding your child getting completely exhausted with the online mode of academics? Understanding the challenges in this mode of learning and sticking to a high level structure and leaving it at that could marry practicality with idealism.

Do you want to create an environment for your child to learn better? Tips are:

Are you feeling confused on should you or should you not moderate your child’s screen time during this pandemic? Is it practical to keep the child away from screens during this time? And the biggest question here is – Is screen time really so bad for children?

Feeling exhausted and exasperated while following up with children on academics, gadgets, eating, sleeping….. A simple change could bring more satisfying changes than long lectures…

If your child is spending long hours on internet connected devices, it is your responsibility to make it a safe experience for the child…here are few steps how..

Are you suddenly getting bombarded with advertisements for coding classes and feeling lost? If you are getting sleepless nights on this topic, Should I or should I not, or even if you have already enrolled your child in the classes, it would be a good idea to read further on to have the right outlook towards it.

Are you getting exasperated that you child is continuously getting into the cycle of breaking or losing toys and asking for new ones. Here are steps that can help you to better handle this child behavior.

As you notice your child going towards a meltdown, are you also being led into a state of despair masked by anger….A few reminders at the heat of the moment can do the trick to keep the connect with your child on.

Carrying a tiff with your child to the bed? Here are some ways to make it easier for you to lighten up…

How are you coping with your child’s online mode of learning? Is it a daily struggle? Are moms especially stressed and burdened?
Read more for practical tips on how to make the most out of this new ‘normal’ of schooling.

As your child grows are you worried about your child bed-wetting in the night time? Read on to help your child better handle it with his or her self-esteem intact.

While setting milestones for our little ones, are we sacrificing the fun of a self-driven mode?

Every parent finds themselves in this sticky situation. It can come in any shape- An innocent – Daddy how was I born? Pat comes our reply – A stork brought you or we prayed to the god and he gifted us or We went to a hospital and got you….. The child’s curiosity is met… Continue Reading →

Any news that makes it to the national news is bound to reach to our children in some or the other manner. Unfortunately most of the times in a hush hush manner. Proactive steps taken by parents can take the fear out of the news and better empower the child and family. Here are some tips how.

The golden rule is- Steal moments that boosts your sense of accomplishment and gives you a sense of control in the FIRST HALF OF THE DAY. Lockdown gives you an opportunity to be your own boss. Remember the one you had or have in your professional life- who was too hard to please or who… Continue Reading →

 How often we look at our child and suddenly get filled with this sense-I was also like this when I was small. However this may not always be taken in a positive sense by parents. Sometimes a parent who has been an introvert or who found it difficult to cope up academically in early childhood… Continue Reading →

The more I work with children, the more I am convinced – How the traditional way of #Education is seen by many children A few days back I was going through the soft copy of books shared by the teachers for my children in 3rd and 7th grade. I was wondering how many of the… Continue Reading →

Struggling to bring behavioral changes in your child. Seen through yelling, sermonizing, spanking…Here are some tips that can bring magical changes in a relatively short period of time with a lasting effort….

If you are finding yourself at the end of your creative self and witty self while telling your child-This is temporary, we would soon see a happy world again…Here is a proposal that can better help you and your children to wad through this phase of lock down.

Does it pain you to see your adolescent shrug away problem solving opportunities with -I DON’T KNOW. To know more why this skill is important and how to develop it, read more.

As a parent are you finding yourself losing out under the cloud of anxiety and panic? Here are ways how you can make it easier for yourself.

We have an opportunity to wade through this period along with our children keeping our mental peace intact and a stronger bond. Read on to find some tips on how to….

Are you struggling to figure out what should be the right approach to handle your child in this lock down period. Here are few thoughts that can give you amazing insights.

Stuck with children feeling restrictive with Coronavirus scare? Could there be something positive coming out of it? Read on to find out.

Has sibling fighting become a mainstay at your place? Are you wondering if it is normal? Here is an opportunity to help children expand their mind and heart…..

Holidays give us time to bring those much required pauses in our lives to reflect back on how do we solve problems or instill a particular behavior. Here are some steps on how to make the most of the holidays…

Are there ways to better handle talking about “Adult” topic with the child. Here are some ways that can help the child to feel – I have been heard, understood and addressed…and for the adult to figure out-What exactly is going on in my child’s mind?

With our inconsistent modeling-Sometimes giving, sometimes not giving with no clear structure in “Why am I giving you this time and why I wouldn’t give you the next time” , the mobile becomes demand driven or sometimes as a right, paving way for a power struggle.

The child will not magically tell us one day-From today onwards stop hiding things from me, or stop running away from me, I am big enough to understand your concerns now….
It is the small little experiences where we face our fears that would better ready the child.

Often we would notice that if the TV or Mobile videos are on, our child’s eyes dart towards it. Are we being too strict by keeping a tab on it?

The question is-If the child doesn’t look for our support during his down moments, who else does he go to … his peers, neighbours, mobile, drugs?

How what we do with our children seeps all the way into their behavior with others….

We are in love with the image of a perfect child in our mind. And then reality hits hard, the child that we have in our hands!!

It is not what we experience that brings the role model out for our children, I become a hero in front of my children by ‘How I react to my experiences’!….Really! Read on, This is how it works…

The fear of monster is a beginning of all the fears (of dark places, animals, risks, being teased, not getting peer support for a project, being shamed, being different, being name called, failures et all) that the child is set to face in her life. Here is a tip on how to better handle it.

We know how to raise a child, because….?

Children develop problem solving skills from their environment around. A big difference can happen in our approach, if we look at a problem as ‘Oh no! not again?’ to “Wow! Another chance!’…read on a specific real life scenario here…

When we know our child is telling tall tales, should we start with being dismissive about it or denigrate- You are lying, or This is a bluff. How does it impact as the child grows up, read on.

Hitting is a very short term knee jerk reaction that we come up with as a response to the strong emotions that we experience. With children, it seems to work as well. So, what is so bad with hitting?

Often the wishes of our children sends us into a tizzy. Especially when we know that it may not be entirely in our hands to make it happen…Understanding how hard saying a NO is, probably can make us find the missing piece here…

Letting my child cry out alone so that he builds muscles to come out of it or staying with the child, read on to know the whys behind….

There are few relationships where words and actions hurt more. Parent-child relationship is one such. For all the efforts that parents put in towards raising their children, there are times when they can’t avoid – “I hate you”‘s coming in. Here are few tips that could help you to better deal with this.

Are you struggling with a constant sibling conflict at home? It is natural for siblings to step into each other’s domain, feel threatened by the other person’s presence or having to share the resources (including parents’ attention).
Here are some tips that can help.

Making a child listen and making the child do what we want him to do are two different things…understanding the gap could help us be more effective in our instructions..

Given that human being is wired to learn language, putting too much of pressure on the child to grow in a particular aspect may build a defiance instead. Here are few tips that can make the experience more positive and better help the child.

Balancing our own morning routine at home while fixing things for the child comes as an onerous task. If you find yourself in this situation most of the mornings and wish to do something to bring an order amidst the chaos, a few things can be more effective.

Generally when a misbehavior happens or if the behavior of the child doesn’t match with our expectations (!!), we want to drive to the child that this was wrong and it can have consequences. Now tricky thing is in a bid to see the impact of the consequences on the child’s posturing and to add more gravity to the situation we may end up with more than required reaction…..taking the focus away from the child.

Our little bundles of energy sometimes get so excited physically that it can start hurting. Here are some tips that can help them to be conscious about it as well as provide better avenues to let off.

Often we need to take decisions on behalf of our child and for the family. Some of them could seem to be backfiring with high implications. It can be tough balancing a office bound life and the expectations of our little ones…for everybody to be around all the times. And on top of it the bugging question-Is my child ready to step out of the comfort of the home. Here are a few tips that could help.

Is it for nothing that these little bundle of joy, energy come with a tag of ‘Terrible Two’!!  Here are some tips that can help to understand and better manage the “throw-don’t throw-throw-now don’t throw” cycle.

Are you finding yourself getting stressed out on how to handle the change in behavior of your sick child. Sometimes even a regression to older milestone (infant moving back to breakmilk from solids or preschooler starting bed wetting again).
Here are some tips on how to get a better hand on the situation.

Often children are so overwhelmed with emotions that their reasoning goes for a toss. Verbalizing the situation for them can help to better empathize with each other. They build an ability to see each other’s perspective and eventually share more in a secure environment.

Many times we come across a situation where we know that our child can do it and has done it in the past….and we cannot fathom why is he or she not doing it now? Well, the questions for us are- Is knowing something enough a drive to actually do the thing? Is it how it works even in the adult world! And what can we do to make it easier to bridge the gap for our children?

Often giving a consequence to our child comes the easiest to us. There is science behind it. It is very good in short term, the non desirable action of our child immediately stops. However in the long term does it work is the question for us?

Wait concept is an alien word to the little ones to begin with. However working towards this helps to build a delayed gratification and increased threshold of wait into our child. Here are a few tips how…

How tough it is to watch our little one being submissive in front of his friends. We get flooded with thoughts.. ‘Why is my child not taking a stand for himself”…”How is he letting himself being pushed like that”. We want to immediately set it right for him. Does it help?

The make believe world of our young children could be enticing and endearing to join in. In case it is touching our sensibilities, understanding what part of the act is bothering could help us with a more effective response. Read on….

Many experiences that our child has with different relations around may not completely gel with our parenting style. Could our intervention await before we have weighed -What is my plot?

In parenting, there are many ups and downs. There are things which are under our control, and things that we definitely don’t control. Here is an understanding of what we can do to help our child and us in a better way through their emotional journey.

There is more to a school for a child. It is as much a platform for social and emotional quotient buildup, as it is for their information/knowledge growth. Read on for more…

Devise your own style which puts minimal effort on your part and minimal touch points with the child. Moot point is, child must understand through our actions (and not elaborate words) that Parents and Environment are different during day time and during night time. Here are few tips that can help to understand “Whats going on?”

We have a background of our own conditioning through our childhood and the learning during growing up periods. Understanding a few basics that help to build a stronger foundation for our children can give wings to our unique parenting style. Read on how….

Love (unconditional) and discipline are two pillars of parenting. All love, no discipline is too permissive parenting wherein the child may lack the anchor of structure (consistent) that he needs to hold on to while worrying about other milestones in his life. All discipline and no love is Authoritarian in nature. The challenge for all of us is where do we position ourselves?

Addressing people by their name comes naturally to us. And invariably becomes our expectations from the little ones as well. Does it work for them? If my child remembers a name, does it really mean it is a friend!! Read on!

We all want our children to be social around and be easy to mingle with. And in a group or party or a gathering when it is expected for our child to join in, we look at our child loaded with expectations….Does it really work?

As a parent we all would love to stay connected to what is happening in our little one’s life. Often our efforts to unravel the school happenings are met with silence. Here are few tips that can help.

The now love, now hate relationship between siblings can often become overwhelming for the parents. While trying to be fair to all, often we may jump to come up with our own solutions to solve the conflicts. Hang on for a bit longer, a beautiful script maybe awaiting an unfold.

When our child yells at us, often we come into a reaction mode leading to a spiraling out of events. Here is a powerful tool that can help to better handle the situation “I am waiting”.

Are we struggling with why our kids are not listening to us. Well, we may be fighting for things that are essentially expected to be under the child’s control. Here is how to focus on what is under our control instead…..

Should I yell at my child or Should I teach?

We may be having the best interest of our child in mind while acting on their behalf, assuming I am the guardian to guard my child. Does it really help?

Often considering “Making our kids listen to us” as our main job as a mother..we put a big load on us. I am the parent and I need to ensure. Offload it once and feel the calm.

It is our responsibility to give our children the right tools and techniques to solve their problems. Once the child gets into the habit of seeing the challenges of life as a problem to solve, each problem becomes an opportunity to connect and a challenge to overcome. Imagine the rich legacy that we leave for them to carry forward.

With parenting there are no quick magic…..there are only magical moments! While facing morning tussles each day, I resolved to change today’s script with my daughter.

Often our children may slip on their commitments. They do not have fully developed self regulation and self control abilities. And often their overall energy is driven by their emotional state. To expect them to completely face their destiny in a resigned manner and still feel motivated enough can be too harsh on them. Leave a hope with them.

We struggle with making our children listen to us. If we keep a track of our interactions throughout the day, we may be giving more than 100 direct instructions to them. Here are different ways the script played for me for the same situation.

Often we are caught in parental dilemma. Is this the right strategy for me and my child? Would this mean I will have to do it all the times? Is my child testing my patience? Here is what I tried for my daughter, each time ending up with different residual feelings inside. Peaceful Parenting with Kiran

“I hate you” coming from our child is enough to evoke strong emotions in us. Often it may make us go weak in our knees and relent . Recognizing the effect these words have on us, may help us to better handle situation next time when it happens.

Eat well, sleep well and keep sometime for yourself, including any pampering that you may have to do for you. Most important is to take a very good care of yourself.

While with children, each day brings in with it, a unique set of challenges, lessons, what-ifs et all. We have options of to-intervene or not-to-intervene. Here is a typical day with a new challenge in the family: Effect of the presence of a third child

I was at a summer camp today. Met a second grader, all sweaty after the sports activities at the camp for over one hour. He plopped down in the chair next to me. Eagerly unzipped his bag and took out his tiffin. He opened the lid and for the next few seconds his whole concentration… Continue Reading →

Recently I was a witness to a parent forewarning her younger daughter-“You tore your elder sister’s art work yesterday, now today she will tear yours”. The horror of the impending act was looming large on her face and she tried to hide her art work behind her frock. We often adopt a Tit for Tat… Continue Reading →

Noticed parents losing sleep over the fights of their kids with others? Well, it just happened recently with my friend. She was tensed when she shared that she got a call from her neighbor. The neighbor apparently was demanding how my friend’s 8 year old daughter name-called and scared her small son. Age-wise the kids… Continue Reading →

Friends, one of the sweetest words for lots of parents of toddlers is “Share”. It seems like an intellectual achievement in itself!! Some of them are in a: complaining mode – My child is so self-centered. She would never let anybody touch her toys. worried mode – Is it because he is a single child… Continue Reading →

My dictionary gets richer while interacting with my 8 year old child. Recently she asked -“What is the meaning of Mongrel”. Now to be frank I was as clueless. Before running to Merriam-webster or all-weather-saver “google”, I thought aloud – “Maybe it could be related to a monster or something. Where did you hear it?”… Continue Reading →

Today I got a video from a Friend, 7 D park in Japan. What an amazing 7 D park with touch, feel and even smell of animals!! It sets me wondering how the world would be a decade or two from today when our children would grow up and take over the baton from us!! Yesterday… Continue Reading →

16 year old girl commits suicide in Navy Nagar this week, and all this over a fight of who created a fake Facebook ID of a classmate. How unfortunate. Are we, as a society taking things too seriously and reacting too fast. Is every thing becoming a do or die situation. Girls may be prompted… Continue Reading →

First things first….Separation is never a pleasant feeling.  It is neither for a newly married girl leaving her parent’s house for the first time.  Nor for a toddler going a little too far away from his parents, suddenly looking behind and finding them out of sight. The dread, the anxiety, the lack of confidence and… Continue Reading →

One of my favorite activities is, just observing the dynamics and conversation of children in a group setting. All the face offs, sizing up, show of physical power, fitting in that goes on (esp with a child in similar age group/temperament) give an incredible experience and insights. Often I eavesdrop conversations of my eight year… Continue Reading →

Couple of weeks back we had a new child join our centre for ‘Happy Hours’ activity program. A cheery enthusiastic 18 month old toddler. Surprisingly the child was quick to gel in and very soon started socializing around. Within the same week we got another new child who was undergoing his bout of separation anxiety…. Continue Reading →

Did your 4 year old just cried out- You are a ‘चप्पल’. Welcome to the beautiful world of childhood! A world where every action which elicits a reaction is a golden wand in the child’s hand to keep experimenting with. ‘Abracadabara’…See I can make my parents emote!! All I have to do is -Say @#$%@!!… Continue Reading →

Among the many challenges that parents face, getting your child to sleep ranks pretty high on the list with almost all parents literally losing sleep over the issue! Though there is no one-size-fits-all formula to lull our children into a healthy sleep habit, here are some basics that we need to be aware of, along… Continue Reading →

Many parents worry about whether they’re giving their children enough stimulation and experiences. In the bargain they tend to overdo things and overstimulate the child, which does not allow the child to benefit from the experience. Positive stimulation is all about finding a balance that’s right for your child. It is also about connecting and… Continue Reading →

Parenthood is not for the weak. It takes patience, mettle, gumption and a big heart to be a parent. It also takes the courage to admit that we need to learn, or sometimes relearn, what parenting is about in the interest of our children and of ourselves. Certain developmental stages of our children are more… Continue Reading →

I’ve always been soppy at times of goodbye. As a child, I bawled while leaving my grandmother’s home every year at the end of our annual vacation. After graduating from high school and as I was preparing to leave for college, I remember hugging my best friends, with tears streaming down my face, wondering why… Continue Reading →

I recently read this blog post about why children behave worse when their mom is in the room. The reason is sweet enough to melt your mommy heart. And it makes total sense. Moms are who we go to rant, rave and pour out our grief. When I’m feeling low and I need a long… Continue Reading →

Kids could be quite gullible at times and have a tendency to readily take our words on face value. If we evasively tell them that we will play with them tomorrow at 3pm, you would find them all dressed up , ready to go at 3pm, looking expectantly at you!! That is the impact our… Continue Reading →

I was reading through Harper lee classic ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’. How I am in love with the character Atticus and in awe with the way his connection with his children Jem and Jean is described. I recommend this book to everybody not just for its plot but also to enjoy the beautiful, transparent relationship… Continue Reading →

Screens are everywhere – television, computers, ipads, tabs, smart phones… it’s an endless list that seems to be only growing by the year. So keeping children away from screens is impossible in this day and age, right? Yet, the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) “recommends that parents and caregivers minimize or eliminate altogether media exposure… Continue Reading →

What happened to us when we were growing up and how has this translated to our own parenting? A friend of mine, during a recent visit, confided in me about what she believes to be the root cause of her low self-esteem. To others who don’t know her too well, she is a quiet yet… Continue Reading →

I came across a heart wrenching article (Maa he pulled down my pants)  about a Grade 2 child undergoing a sexual harassment at the hand of a house help. It is a fact that most of the incidents are done by known people around. It set my thoughts running in terms of how important it… Continue Reading →

I was in the middle of planning a function. With only a couple of days left for the event, I was constantly on my phone, either on a call or sending WhatsApp messages left, right and centre. I was in the midst of drafting a particularly crucial message, when I heard an angelic sound coming… Continue Reading →

How do you react when your cute 2.5 year old child looks at your help lady and comments,’अच्छी लग रही हैं तू’!! (closest translation would be- Damn! You are looking good) I can completely empathize the horror of the parent on witnessing it. Being brought up in an Army background and being the eldest in… Continue Reading →

Today I got a forward from a friend titled HTDO. The title was quite intriguing and instantly caught my attention. It was about how a person felt jubilant while aggressively beating an old man into being the first one to pick up a parking space in a parking lot. Later he went to win the… Continue Reading →

Isn’t it a wonder how truly a sponge our children are! We just have to watch a two year old child exactly aping his/her parent being on a mobile. How they get everything to the T, right from the slight tilt of the head, slow zig-zagging gait of an adult (while being on phone), the… Continue Reading →